A light in my life has dimmed. I lost my sister on Friday. I lost my best friend on Friday. As I sit here listening to her favorite CD trying to write these words that I wish I didn’t have to write. I’d rather be sitting beside her enjoying a glass of wine which we did together daily and talk ~ always finishing each other’s sentences, talking about all the things that have special meaning to us. I’m having trouble with this ~ I’m being so protective ~ struggling to share my Love, my feelings, my pain, my relationship with my sister who was my true soulmate.
So I’ll have another cigarette and stare at these 2 pictures in front of me ~ that mean so much ~ and cry some more… I have to call my Brother-in-love he’ll know how to console me… he tries his best in spite of his pain… he’s successful in getting me to crack a smile ~ he can always do that. We talked for most of an hour and now I’m back staring at my precious 2 pictures that I can share with you. I’ve decided to title my pictures.
The first is called “Divine Sisterhood”. It’s of Erin, Nancy, and me standing tall and proud with toothless grins all wearing our matching nightgowns ~ God Bless Mom ~ but really, what was she thinking? If I look at one picture I’m looking at a 1000 with the 3 of us wearing the same outfit ~ hand made with Love by Mom. Do you think it’s possible for sisters to be so much alike because they grew up wearing the same clothes? I wonder about that ~ I’m laughing because Erin met me for lunch a week ago and we were wearing the exact same outfit, right down to the shoes. My workmate said ‘you’d think you two were twins’. Twins ~ yeah, we were like that. Erin and I would walk through the mall together when we were younger and she’d bump into someone she knew (she always did) and she’d say ‘this is my little sister Sherry’. She’d then say ‘I have another sister Nancy, and she’s the rose between two thorns’.
My second picture is called “At The Beach With The Music Man”. The music man is my Dad. Lets break this down: the Beach, Music, Dad ~ all of Erin’s favorite things. If you asked her to tell you how she would spend a perfect day, her answer would be to lay on the Beach gazing at the Ocean, listening to a ‘very special’ piece of Music, while discussing the rendition, the instruments, the musician and his ‘entire’ story with her Dad. Erin never got over losing Dad ~ he was ‘her’ light. Erin inherited his passion for music. Dad was a jazz collector ~ Erin was a ‘collector’. Getting back to music, after going through all of her music these last couple of days ~ I can say to you that honestly she comes a close second to the amount of music / CDs that my Father had. And you all will just have to guess at that number. But like the ‘twins’ that we were I also inherited this passion for music which I’ll explain more at the end of my conversation with all of you. I guess writing really is therapy ~ Erin used to say that.
Erin was my Maid Of Honor at my wedding last August and my Brother-in-love Rick replaced my Father ~ as hard as that was for both of us ~ and walked me down the Aisle. She gave so much of herself ~ her divine sense of style ~ her unstoppable attention to every special detail that she knew meant so much to me ~ but most of all, her ‘Unconditional Love’ in making the day that will go down in the history books as the best day of my life when I married Robert (the one doing this difficult favor for me right now talking to you).
I’ve been really busy putting something very special together for all of you very special people. One of the most special ‘gifts’ Erin left me was her Love for giving. She touched so many people in this room and she gave you all so much of her Love ~ so much of her precious time ~ I want you all to have just a little something of what she Loved ~ her music. I made a CD for all of you with a compilation of some of her favorite Songs. Listen to them when you want to be close to her ~ and she’ll be there right beside you ~ holding your hand enjoying her music ~ sharing it with you.
It gives me great comfort that you are with Dad now.
I Love you Erin, I’ll talk to you in my dreams. You’re in my heart, always on my mind and forever in my soul.
Sherry.
